Fundamental Eleven: Be Yourself

Created By: MICHAEL W. FORDYCE, Ph.D
Answers the question – What are the top 14 traits of happy people?

In the last few Chapters we have examined some of the most basic traits of the happy personality. We have seen that they feel good about themselves – they like what they are as people. We have seen that they accept themselves — they are comfortable with their shortcomings and at ease with their limitations. We also have found that happy people know themselves well: they’re honest with themselves and have a great deal of insight into their personality. We’ve seen that happy people trust themselves and that they tend to be self-reliant, independent, and autonomously motivated. And lastly, we’ve learned that they are quite socially-comfortable, outgoing, and extroverted.

When you tie all these strands together, you begin to see the picture of a person who is simply just being oneself. And that is exactly how happy people are!

Fundamental Eleven, then, is “Be Yourself.” It is based on the simple proposition that the more naturally and honestly you present yourself to others, the more happily life will go for you.

Happy people are “real” people. As we’ve reviewed in both these Volumes, the research shows that happy individuals are typically more natural, self-assured, and at ease in social situations. They generally deal with others in a straightforward and candid manner. They tend to be uninhibited, spontaneous, and expressive. They are not afraid to share themselves, nor are they unduly concerned about people’s reactions to them. As psychologist Everett Shostrom wrote, when describing healthy people,

“…they are more concerned with being, than being pleasing. …more concerned with expressing, than impressing.” (POI manual)

Happy people, apparently, are the same — they are more concerned with being themselves than being anything else.

But how does “being yourself” work to make one happier? Let’s look at the theory…